The countdown continues, I return home in just a couple of weeks. I also leave for Morocco in a less than a week. I am also quite content because I actually feel like I have made the most of my experience here in Paris. I don't feel like I will leave with an unsatisfied taste in my mouth. Everyday waking up and writing, going to my little favorite cafe to read my book and make friends. And some nights spent a bit more inebriated than I would prefer but still spent with good friends. I think if I had to pick one thing I will miss the most here, it is the special people I have met. Crazy men in the cafe who keep your attention for hours on end, good friends with whom you spend to many nights drunk with or too many days eating.
Another amazing thing has occurred to me since I have been in Paris. While working on my book, I find it quite difficult to let go of a lot of feelings that I have harbored towards a couple of characters. Some of those characters being my ex boyfriends. In particular my first one, my first love as i specifically remember him. But I sat at a cafe one day reading a great chapter in Eat Pray Love, one particular chapter on forgiveness. And I just remember feeling a warmth in my stomach, as I almost began to cry over her description of letting go of her ex-husband.
I immediately thought to myself, why haven't I forgiven my ex-boyfriend. This guy who played such an important role in my life at one point, and in this book...why haven't I let go. Was I waiting for a feeling like this to overcome me or was I waiting for another sign. Difference between me and this book was the fact that my ex had tried contacting me in the last couple of years. When I think back to my grudge I do feel bad having kept one for so long. But that has now changed, I went home and contacted him via face book and wrote him a letter of...forgiveness. Who knows if we will ever enter each others lives again but I would like to know I have also....Let go.
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